Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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