my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
