So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You know, be my cock's hype man.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My vagina is officially offended.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
