just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
