Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
