May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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