38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
