just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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