so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
