Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
