you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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