Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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