girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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