You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I pour the whiskey from now on
I want a musical about memes.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
