So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
