I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
