I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
