And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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