they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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