Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This baby is an asshole
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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