how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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