Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
