well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
