So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
