i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
