Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
