DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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