I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You need a sexual gate keeper
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
