It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My ass is underappreciated
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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