I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
