I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
