Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
