i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
