My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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