we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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