Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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