Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
All the doctor said was why
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
