You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
