i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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