Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
