Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I love you. Go after that dick
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
