During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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