New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
