I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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