Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
