your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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