Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
