This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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