I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
