I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Pants 0. Shit 1.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
