So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
