So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
